Tear Down Your House of Stone



Now that song comes again
and I still remember you saying
”Young boy afraid to risk for love
to take a chance
No light, no love will ever grow
Inside your house of stone.”

Now that song comes again (Oh, no, no)
I still remember you saying
”Young boy who could not ask for love
Your chance has passed
No light, no love will ever grow.”
I will build a house of stone.
House of Stone by Roaring Boys

I remember first hearing the song House of Stone back in the early 1980s. The melody wrapped its way around my stony little heart and tugged me down to my knees as the lyrics hit me like a brick upside my head. I knew I had built a house of stone around my heart, but I didn’t know what to do about it.

On the one hand, my house of stone protected me-- to some degree-- from the pain of the outside world. But, on the other hand, it kept me from being vulnerable and from connecting with other people. It’s stealth protection meant that I couldn’t let any love in—not even the love I wanted.

I was young and afraid to take a risk for love. I was terrified of taking a chance, whether that chance was opening up and allowing people to really know who Charlie was; or whether it was taking friends up on an offer to do something I wasn’t quite comfortable doing with them; or whether it was just going off to a bar or club by myself and seeing what the nightlife had to offer me.

No. I was too afraid. And so I became content to live inside of my house of stone. All by myself. Safe but sorry. Safe but all alone. Safe but miserable. Safe and sad as I watched my youth, my life and all of my chances for love pass me by.

It’s true: No light, no love ever grow inside a heart that is a house of stone. It’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way, and I hope to help others learn the lesson before they have too many regrets.

If you are living with your heart encased in a house of stone, now is the time to start removing the bricks you laid, one by one. It’s a slow process for most of us to tear down our houses of stone. It would be great if we could just implode them from within ourselves, but most of us have too much inner-work to do for it to be that simple.

You can start removing the bricks, however, by choosing to take risks. Take a chance and do something that you’ve been too afraid to do. Go to a sporting event or a club with some friends, or by yourself. Accept that date with a guy or gal who’s asked you. Realize that most everyone is afraid to reach outside of themselves. Take a risk and talk. You don’t have to become a best friend or lover to anyone. All you have to do is open up and let yourself out of your house of stone for a little while. See how good it feels for your heart to breathe-in some of the freshness of life by sharing your inner-self with others.

And keep this in mind: You don’t want to look back some day when you’re old and grey and realize that your chance has passed you by; having flown away with every lost second of your youth. Be willing to pursue and ask for the love you need NOW. Tear down that house of stone NOW and get about the joy of living life—even when it’s scary and sometimes painful.

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