Spread Your Wings and Allow Your Soul to Shine!

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”
Ancient Proverb

 How often have we thought that the world was over for us-- in one way or another? It’s a familiar feeling for many of us when we face transitional periods in our lives. One day we suddenly become “too big” to be held by Mom or Dad. Then we become “too old” for trick or treating. And before we can blink an eye, we become “too mature” for high school pranks. These are growth transitions from childhood into young adulthood that require a dying to the past-person we were as we grow into the fullness of the person we are becoming. They hurt like small deaths, but then they bring new life.

Once we reach adulthood, we begin a whole new series of transitional periods. Many of us transform from free-spirited college students to serious-minded professionals. In doing so we transition from a lifetime of books and exams into a new lifetime of office politics and the race to succeed ahead of the pack. At the same time, we face huge transitions in our personal lives. We take on new personal responsibilities as we grow beyond the freedom and fancy of being single and think more in terms of being coupled.

In these young adult-to-adult transitions, we face many small-- but significant-- deaths as we become “butterflies.” Leaving school is a big goodbye to our last youthful period of playfulness. And with this step forward, we feel a part of us die as we gain our wings. The transition into the workplace is our career transition into adulthood in a way that forever changes us. We trade all of our dreams for reality; a reality we hope will fulfill our dreams, but that often doesn‘t. And with this step forward, we feel a part of us die as we first spread our wings and take flight.

The decision to enter into a committed lifetime relationship with another person is a tremendous transition; one that brings us back to earth. It means our world of single-minded independence is over. We can no longer flutter around from flower to flower. The life of do what we want, buy what we want, go where we want-- whenever we want-- abruptly ends. Our world is no longer simply about us. We transition from “me” to “we.” New responsibilities our placed on our shoulders. Old commitments, and sometimes friendships, fade into the past. For many, couple-hood quickly transitions into parenthood and we have to learn to fly higher and provide more.

Years pass quickly and before we can relax, we have faced many adult transitions: from young adult to adult to middle-aged to senior citizen. As we age, we face all sorts of health and physical transitions. We aren’t able to fly as high or as long anymore, and we begin to feel betrayed by our bodies. We also face the light and darkness of mental, emotional and spiritual changes, and yet we too often fail to face the losses we suffer. We need to acknowledge, grieve and accept our losses. These losses have transitioned us from being “caterpillars” into being “butterflies,” but we can’t fully appreciate our newness of life as “butterflies“ until we come to terms with our losses. We can’t fully move forward until we have grieved what we have left behind.

Granted the transitions into midlife and senior citizenship are often the most difficult. When we leave youth behind it’s easy to think our world has truly ended. But, if we fully accept our loses, we will discover newness of life in the midst of aging. We find a return to freedom. People who transition from parenthood into grandparent-hood, and from the workforce into retirement, soon realize that they are free of many of their previous responsibilities. They are now able to explore unchartered territories in their lives. Suddenly there is a whole new world before them waiting to be discovered, and with it, a newness of life.

Life is a series of constant transformations. Everyday we grow into the fullness of who we are. First we grow into the fullness of being “caterpillars” and then we grow into the fullness of being  “butterflies.” And all it takes along the way is acceptance of each change, each loss; and the courage to move forward into new fullness of life. So gratefully allow each yesterday to fade away with each new sunrise. Then spread your wings and allow your soul to shine!