Shout It From the Rooftops!

"I am adorable!" Enough said.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ghosting is Cowardly, Cruel and Dysfunctional

Image
Ghosting is a new concept to me. Growing up, it was referred to as “the silent treatment.” I learned from my mother that if I was upset with someone, I simply cut them off by refusing to talk to them or even acknowledge their presence. I didn’t return phone calls, or answer my door if they came knocking. Recovery taught me that this was truly dysfunctional behavior. I think that ghosting is basically dysfunctional too. First, if we realize that a relationship is toxic for us, we need to bring it to a proper closure. We need to have the guts to tell the person in a kind way that things just aren’t working out, but that we still care about them and wish them well. In doing so we show respect both for them and for ourselves. Once we have had proper closure, it’s OK to become absent from that person’s life. At least now there is an understanding between us. To simply disappear from someone’s life because they “failed to appreciate my presence,” is simply revenge. It’s ending the r...
Read more

If The Eyes Had No Tears, The Soul Would Have No Rainbow

Image
I'm sitting in a Panera Bread in Los Angeles, eating my cinnamon scone and preparing to cut my trip here short. I'll have to return home tomorrow and then fly to Omaha, Nebraska for a funeral. A young father in his 30s died there last Friday, leaving behind a wife and three small children. There are always questions in these types of situations: Why? Why someone so young? Why someone who had a wife and kids? The "why" questions can be endless, and there's never a quantifiable answer.  I don't believe in "it was just his time" or that God called him home. There's too much cruelty to these pat answers and they make God seem like a beast. What purpose could there be behind such imagined acts of God? I see no redeeming purpose to seizing a young man from his young family. I do believe that life happens. When someone dies and there is no acceptable answer to "why," I believe it's simply the human condition. It's the way...
Read more

I’m Tired of Drama. How About You?

Image
I’m tired of drama, but in a good way. Im so tired of chaos and drama that I am no longer creating it for myself, nor am I emotionally participating in anyone else’s self-made dramas. When drama comes knocking I no longer open the door, and if someone brings me their newest drama, I tell them I have a new boundary: I no longer participate in mind games that produce chaos and drama. I’m learning— finally— to live in the moment and not in my head. I’ve learned my lesson: Living in my head is the same as living in Wonderland, except it’s not as pleasant. Only in my head can I create chaos and drama for myself. This past weekend, I directed a new retreat I entitled “Prodigal Love.” The retreat went very well because I allowed my Higher a Power to guide me through directing it. The participants were very talkative and everyone participated fully. I stayed in the present moment and LISTENED to them, instead of wandering around in my head worrying about what negative thoughts they mi...
Read more

No One Can Calm Your Codependent Crazies, But You

Image
Ah, the codependent crazies. Those needy, needy feelings. I remember well the deep emotional pain in the pit of my stomach: The throbbing sting of shame, fear, loneliness and anxious desperation. Those feelings that are like fingernails on the blackboard of your soul. They eat you alive from within as they dig deeper and deeper into the black hole of your inner-emptiness. Yes, I remember them well. And I remember evenings of mental and emotional insanity-- squirming with a magazine, pacing back and forth, indulging in chocolate, chasing up and down the stairs hoping the doorbell would ring, and staring endlessly at the telephone for a sign of hope. All I needed was a call from my false higher power; a call that would help me to know that I was OK, that I was needed, that I was worth thinking about in some good way. I was dying to be emotionally caressed on the head like a poodle desperate for the attention of his master. And certainly I had made that other person into my mas...
Read more