Long-Term Commitment to Recovery Is Essential
Commitment to the new awareness we have gained through recovery is essential. So we must be steadfast in our commitment to recovery if we are to fully experience healing and continued newness of life. This is why it is so important to be an active part of a recovery community, or support group, like Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous or Adult Children of Alcoholics.
In addition to our need to be steadfast in our dedication to recovery-- despite our pain or our discomfort with change-- we need to be patient. Recovery is a lifetime process. It doesn’t happen over night and we are never ZAPPED and miraculously cured by our Higher Power. Recovery is about hard work. It's also about progress-- gradual, positive progress toward healthy thinking, feeling, being, and fulfilling relationships.
This concept is foreign to most addictive personalities. We are so used to living by the motto "I want what I want and I want it NOW!" Waiting seems unthinkable, and so we need support to make it doable. We can't make good healthy progress on our own. The 12 Steps teach us that we need a Higher Power greater than ourselves; one that can give us hope, patience and courage when we have the strong desire to return to our comfortable old behavioral patterns. We need this Higher Power to consistently be present to do for us what we are not able to do for ourselves. We need to be in partnership with our Higher Power everyday.
Likewise, we also need a community of dedicated recovering people to support us in our journey. We need people that we can trust, talk with honestly and who are willing to validate our feelings without trying to fix us.
No one can rescue us. We are only responsible for ourselves and our own recovery. As codependents, we may have a twisted desire to rescue others or be rescued by others. This is old, dysfunctional thinking. The desire to rescue others is rooted in our need to abandon ourselves and avoid our issues in the process. The desire to be rescued is a sign that we still aren't willing to take responsibility for ourselves. We need to focus on fixing our own problems. That's our responsibility and no one else's. And we need to take our focus off of others and their problems. If we are feeling a need to rescue someone, it’s important to check-out our motivation. Usually, it’s really all about us and our need to be needed, and not truly about helping the other person. He or she can fix themselves. They don't need us to be their Superman or Wonder Woman. Even those who refuse to help themselves are still responsible for themselves-- no one else is.
In recovery we learn to make friends by respecting other people’s abilities to take care of themselves and vice versa. As we grow in self-love and self-worth, we no longer need to take hostages in an attempt to fix them and to make ourselves feel wanted. Nor do we allow ourselves to be taken hostage by someone with an insatiable desire to fix us in order to earn our love. We learn that love is a gift-- freely given. No one can earn it. Take time to find a support group that meets your needs and that you feel comfortable attending. Be responsible and committed to your own well-being. Miracles will gradually happen and your soul will begin to shine!
In addition to our need to be steadfast in our dedication to recovery-- despite our pain or our discomfort with change-- we need to be patient. Recovery is a lifetime process. It doesn’t happen over night and we are never ZAPPED and miraculously cured by our Higher Power. Recovery is about hard work. It's also about progress-- gradual, positive progress toward healthy thinking, feeling, being, and fulfilling relationships.
This concept is foreign to most addictive personalities. We are so used to living by the motto "I want what I want and I want it NOW!" Waiting seems unthinkable, and so we need support to make it doable. We can't make good healthy progress on our own. The 12 Steps teach us that we need a Higher Power greater than ourselves; one that can give us hope, patience and courage when we have the strong desire to return to our comfortable old behavioral patterns. We need this Higher Power to consistently be present to do for us what we are not able to do for ourselves. We need to be in partnership with our Higher Power everyday.
Likewise, we also need a community of dedicated recovering people to support us in our journey. We need people that we can trust, talk with honestly and who are willing to validate our feelings without trying to fix us.
No one can rescue us. We are only responsible for ourselves and our own recovery. As codependents, we may have a twisted desire to rescue others or be rescued by others. This is old, dysfunctional thinking. The desire to rescue others is rooted in our need to abandon ourselves and avoid our issues in the process. The desire to be rescued is a sign that we still aren't willing to take responsibility for ourselves. We need to focus on fixing our own problems. That's our responsibility and no one else's. And we need to take our focus off of others and their problems. If we are feeling a need to rescue someone, it’s important to check-out our motivation. Usually, it’s really all about us and our need to be needed, and not truly about helping the other person. He or she can fix themselves. They don't need us to be their Superman or Wonder Woman. Even those who refuse to help themselves are still responsible for themselves-- no one else is.
In recovery we learn to make friends by respecting other people’s abilities to take care of themselves and vice versa. As we grow in self-love and self-worth, we no longer need to take hostages in an attempt to fix them and to make ourselves feel wanted. Nor do we allow ourselves to be taken hostage by someone with an insatiable desire to fix us in order to earn our love. We learn that love is a gift-- freely given. No one can earn it. Take time to find a support group that meets your needs and that you feel comfortable attending. Be responsible and committed to your own well-being. Miracles will gradually happen and your soul will begin to shine!
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