Acceptance Is a Key to Conquering Denial

Anytime we feel stuck and it seems as if life is standing still, it’s because we are fighting change—a change, or changes, that we are powerless to control. The character of Oliver Bradford in The Enchanted Cottage is a perfect example of someone who is frozen in time; and frozen in his pain.

Oliver refuses to accept the physical changes his body has endured as a result of his injuries during combat. World War II is a fact. His participation in it as a fighter pilot is a fact. His being shot down by enemy forces is a fact. And his physical disfigurement as a result of the accident is also a fact. He can’t change any of these facts. They are permanently written into his history and yet he refuses to accept them. He wants to turn the clock back to a previous time before the war when things were as they “should” be. But he can’t.

As a result, Oliver’s life indeed screeches to a halt. He is trapped in time between what is (reality) and what he desires (fantasy). Mentally and emotionally he is in a limbo that is leaning toward hell as he longs for some way to alter his current reality. The longer he chooses to fight reality, the more he turns inward on himself and alienates himself from everyone who loves him. They may love him, but they also represent the very reality that he just can’t embrace. They remind him more of what is today than they do of what used to be in the yesterday that he can’t let go of.

With each passing moment, Oliver becomes more desperate and hopeless. He has shrouded himself in the darkness of denial and the only way out he can see is death by his own hand—until God shines some light into his soul through Laura Pennington. She helps Oliver to see that sometimes we have to accept what seems unacceptable in life. And that God’s gift of acceptance is a great miracle in and of itself. It is the miracle that sets us free from our frozen states of denial. It is the miracle that sets us free to breathe, to clear out our heads, to think in new ways and to move forward with life as God intended.

Acceptance gives Oliver power over his life again, and acceptance can do the same for each of us. If we are fighting a reality we can’t change, it makes no sense to stay stuck in our longing for the way things used to be. The past makes a nice sentimental journey from time to time, but there’s no returning to it as a modern day reality. No one can be 70 years old and look 25 years old again. No one can resurrect a spouse or child who has died. No one can go back to a job that they wished they hadn’t left 10 years ago. Life isn’t about going back. Life is about moving forward. Life is about accepting the many changes that every moment places in our paths.

Practicing acceptance and moving forward is part of God’s plan for our lives—and it allows our souls to shine!