Emotional Surrender Leads to Deep Peace

“If you cannot accept what is outside, then accept what is inside.

Do not resist the pain. Allow it to be there. Surrender to the grief, despair,

fear, loneliness, or whatever form the suffering takes. Witness it without

labeling it mentally. Embrace it. Then see how the miracle of surrender transmutes deep suffering into deep peace. This is your crucifixion.

Let it become your resurrection and ascension.”

Eckhart Tolle, Practicing the Power of Now

Life pummels all of us with hardships we resist. Many of these hardships seem unbearable. Something terrible happens and we don’t want to even begin to go there, or to touch the reality of the horror it holds. Sometimes we go on emotional lockdown. We are determined not to stray past our carefully constructed force-field of denial. We just can’t accept what the “outside” is offering us.

It isn’t easy to accept a diagnosis of melanoma. It isn’t easy to watch a son or daughter waste away under the grip of bourbon or cocaine. And it isn’t easy to feel trapped in loveless, punishing relationships. Truth is that we may actually be powerless to change any such tragedies as they bombard us from “outside,” but we are not powerless to change how we respond to them “inside.” We have great spiritual power offered to us through the simple act of acceptance.

Accepting how we feel about something is simple, but actually “feeling” what is rumbling around inside of us is not. A diagnosis of melanoma is going to set off all sorts of emotions. Shock, fear, disappointment, helplessness, hopelessness, stress, anxiety, and anger are just a few of the possible emotions that may temporarily race through us before disbelief and denial shut them down. Likewise, visiting a jail where our son or daughter is incarcerated for drunken driving is likely to resurrect feelings of shame, fear, failure and guilt, among numerous others. And struggling through seriously flawed relationships with friends, family or lovers leaves us vulnerable to a daily monsoon of negative emotions: Fear of abandonment, desperation, worthlessness, inequality, sadness and depression.

So how do we handle all of these bad feelings? First we stop judging them as “bad” and start experiencing them as “necessary.” No feeling is truly “bad” and no feeling is designed to destroy us. Every feeling has a purpose and the ones we often consider “bad” actually have healing purposes. Sitting with feelings of loss and tremendous sorrow are necessary when we are facing a major, life-threatening crisis. It’s by embracing these feelings, and relying on our Higher Power to help us process them, that we walk through their bitter flames and emerge with a new sense of personal power and wholeness. We may be stunned by their lightning, and we may feel like we’re drowning in their torrential rains, but all of the storminess will eventually begin to lift; and as it does, we will find ourselves experiencing a new sense of relief, replenishment and peace.

By accepting and fully experiencing all of our feelings, even the ones that seemingly threaten crucifixion, we allow ourselves to experience the graces of resurrection and ascension. With the help of our Higher Power, we are resurrected to new paths of self-awareness, new levels of understanding and new heights of faith and trust. Thus the very act of acceptance has helped us to ascend or rise above our current crisis. We are then better empowered to face all future problems by embracing all of our feelings to the fullest and allowing their great healing power to ascend us to new dimensions of being fully alive in the present moment—the only place where God exists. And we allow our souls to shine!