Do You Want to Spend the Rest of Your Life Being Happy, or Miserable? The Choice is Yours Alone.



It's so true: We only have one life to live-- OURS. And we have a choice everyday. We can choose to work our recovery programs, to consciously change our thinking and behaviors; or we can choose to stop working to improve our lives and regress into the old misery we have so desperately wanted to escape.

So how do I want to spend the rest of my life? I want to love myself unconditionally and to stop hating myself. I know learning to love myself unconditionally will help me to accept and love others unconditionally. All of my relationships will improve. I will choose healthier people to engage with and our relationships will be between equals.

I am tired of running after people who don't see me. I am always attracted to the most emotionally unavailable and neediest people. After 22 years of Recovery, this is an instinctual battle I have to face every single day. Only through working my CODA program can I consciously choose to no longer engage in relationships with emotionally unavailable people, or with people who simply aren't willing to work at loving themselves.

I admit that I am one of the bravest people I have ever known. I can humbly pat myself on the back for that. No matter what has gone wrong in my life, I have always somehow managed to have hope and I am learning to be braver every single day by facing all of my feelings, even the worst ones, instead of medicating them away through codependency, shopping or over-eating sugary foods.

And I have certainly learned to take risks. We never grow in our recovery if we aren't willing to take the many risks necessary to change ourselves for the better. Life truly does begin at the end of our comfort zones.

The only thing I would change about the above quote from Beardsley Jones is I would change "Do what feels good" to "Do what feels right." Sometimes doing what feels good can easily translate in an addict's mind into self-medicating or acting-out. That feels good, but it's the worst thing we can do. We need to do what feels right, no matter how hard it is. In a recent fallout with a friend, I spent a week facing all of my overwhelming, horrible feelings of shame, guilt, unworthiness, unlovability, disappointment, hurt, betrayal, anger and sadness. I faced them all without emotionally medicating and, in doing so, my Higher Power took me to a place of peace that I wouldn't have reached if I had chosen to do what would normally "feel good" to me-- act-out.

I have decided to start attending a men's Al-Anon meeting three times a week instead of just attending my CODA meeting weekly because I want and deserve to be happy and to make myself proud. And so do you! We all deserve it. We just have to partner with our Higher Power and choose to move forward everyday with our Recovery.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Become the Person You Want to Spend Your Life With Everyday

Self-Sabotage Is Motivated by FEAR

No One Can Calm Your Codependent Crazies, But You

Always Detach With Love and Prayer from Unhealthy Partners and Friends