FATAL mistake

 

One of my codependent misconceptions is that every mistake I make-- great or small-- is FATAL. I go into an immediate panic. I feel like I have an ax over my head and at any minute it's going to drop on me. I feel like a total fake and loser for having made the mistake.

This subconscious belief has haunted me, making me miserable for days at a time, for many years now. It's just been recently that I have been able to fish it out of my subconscious mind. Once I realize that the consequences for the particular mistake are nowhere near as big as what my feelings are feeding me, sanity settles in and I can breathe again.

Making a typo in an official document is NOT fatal. Forgetting about an appointment is NOT fatal. Dripping pizza sauce on my shirt is NOT fatal. Getting a traffic ticket is NOT fatal. Missing a payment by its due date is NOT fatal. Forgetting a friend's birthday is NOT fatal. Putting on a few extra pounds is NOT fatal. Having a bad hair day is NOT fatal.

So, why do we often act like these mistakes are bigger than life? For me, I can trace it back to my drive for perfection, instilled in me from early childhood. Any mistake awakens my subconscious reaction to the realization that I committed an error and I am obviously far from being perfect. The sirens go off and the perfection police come after me. My spirit sinks--- until I consciously choose to realize the mistake is NOT fatal.

Now, every time I feel "Fatal flaw," I immediately (most of the time) become aware that yes, I've made a mistake and that's OK. The mistake isn't FATAL. Never is, never has been. 

There are big mistakes. We can't deny that fact. Even these we have to put into proper perspective. Then, we can seek assistance from a friend, or a co-worker, or a family member-- and always from our Higher Power.