God Loves You Because of Who God Is

 

 


 It never occurred to me, at any point in my life, that God or Higher Power could love me aside from my behavior. I was raised in a Catholic Christian home where the childhood theology I learned was based in doing all the right things to please God. If I wasn't able to consistently please God, I was heading toward Hell. 

The worst part of this twisted theology was the belief imposed upon me as a child that God loved me when I was good, but that he despised me and turned his back on me when I was bad. If he kept giving me the cold shoulder (mixed with the silent treatment), I was doomed to fail in life. 

As an adult, I've realized that the God my parents taught me was an exact image and reflection of my parents. This God was based in human beliefs, many of them being conservative off the scale. This God had nothing to do with reality. It was the projection of addictive, neurotic thoughts— of a deep seated fear that God's mercy and forgiveness were razor-thin.

Actually, I don't remember hearing my parents ever say "God loves you," much less God loves you just the way you are... "God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or did not do."

The God of my parents, and countless other Christians, was based in the fact that many humans find it extremely difficult to love unconditionally. Their love is based on how well people please them. Make one mistake and their (fake) love is withdrawn, at least until we come begging on our hands and knees. Even if we did so, it's not likely they would truly forgive us. They'd say they have forgiven, but when we fail to please them again, we'd always experience them holding our past errors over our heads. It's their opportunity to shame us into doing or being what they want.

I'm learning to unlearn this twisted theology. There are people who want their hanging judge God, probably because they think their belief in such a god gives them the unlimited right to judge others as harshly as their hearts desire. But I want nothing to do with such a god.

I'm grateful that God loves me unconditionally because love is who God is. Now, I just have to believe God's love is wonderfully, freely given and learn how to extend my love to include me in a tender and kind way.

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