Problem Solving: A Healthy Perspective


After thinking about the above quote, I realized that I often problem solve by reacting to the problem, which is a big problem in itself. Most of my problems are created on a subconscious level of thinking. 

Like the typical addict, I subconsciously create my own mistakes which then become problems, and those problems feed my need for chaos.Then, I am able to feel victimized by the chaos. Is that a perfect addictive cycle? Seems that way.

And, when it comes to solving the problem/chaos after it no longer serves my needs, I usually default into reactionary behavior, which is brewing in my subconscious mind. That way, I can create more chaos.

Well, now that I am aware of this cycle, I've decided I don't want to be in this rotating mouse trap anymore. 

Einstein is right. To solve a problem caused by the subconscious mind, we have to use our conscious mind. Our knee-jerk decisions are all made by our subconscious mind and they tend to get us into big trouble. We may say things we seriously regret and realize that there's really no way to fully undo the harm we caused someone else. We can't take our words back or erase them completely.

If our subconscious mind has gotten us into trouble, we have to take the time on a conscious level to find a solution. We can never solve the problem subconsciously by reacting.

I've learned that when I'm faced with a problem, like a breach of my boundaries, that I need to step back from the consciously situation, breathe, and ask myself (and my Higher Power) "What are my options? How can I best respond to this breach? It usually doesn't take very long for me to then respond in a way that won't cause further friction. 

There are situations, however, where an answer doesn't come to me in the moment and so I breathe and remain silent. There's no need to respond immediately. Once I do know how to appropriately respond, I can approach the other person and set my proper boundary with them.

And the same formula can be used when I have caused a problem. I may not know how to make amends in the present moment. And I don't want to react toward the other person in such a way as to make the situation worse. So, I breathe and search my conscious mind for an answer to make amends. Making amends does not include blaming the other person for my mistake. Forget the blame game-- it's an addictive response that simply makes us look much more pitiful than justified.

There are many wake up calls in recovery. This is a big one.


 

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