Soulshine

So, how are you handling the coronavirus pandemic as a codependent? I'm actually surprised at how well I am handling it. A few years ago, my urgent codependent need to control my Higher Power's handling of the pandemic would have had me tied up in mental and emotional knots right now. Throw in the fact that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which gives me an urgent fear of germs/viruses/bacteria, and I'd be on the verge of an emotional breakdown. But today that's not the case. Why? Well, through Recovery I've learned so much about how by brain functions. In particular, I've learned that most of my daily life and fears are controlled by my subconscious mind. We can spend 95% of our day reacting to chaos and drama that's playing in our subconscious mind, and not even begin to realize consciously what's actually going on. This is why we actually spend more time living in our heads than in reality. Years of Recovery are now paying off duri...

According to Dr. Bruce Lipton, DNA specialist, 95% of what we say and do in our daily lives is controlled by our subconscious minds. Think how terrifying that percentage is. It means we only act from our conscious minds five percent of the time each day. As codependents, those who were primarily raised in dysfunctional addictive households, it's especially distressing. But it also explains why we have made the same relationship mistakes over and over without learning our lesson. It explains why we have chosen one toxic person after the next to build relationships with, why we have fallen into the same hole time and again and never understood why. How many of us can relate to the lyric quote (pictured above) from the Roxette song "The Sweet Hello, The Sad Goodbye"? Looking back over my past codependent relationships, these words say a great deal to me now. I remember when "I thought we were the chosen ones who were supposed to fly" int...

Recovery is all albout focusing on the lessons life teaches us. It's about finding answers that can change our lives for the better. And, it's about choosing to live those lessons through changed thinking and behavior. Before Recovery, so many of us repeatedly played the victim of our own thoughts and actions. We focused on the hurt-- a hurt that was often of our own making, even though we repeatedly blamed others for our hurt. Truth is, as we look back, we discover that through our own ingrained codependent thinking and patterns of behavior, we created our own drama and chaos. We, in fact, created most of the hurt and then we played it's victim. Before Recovery, we focused on the hurt, blamed others because we refused to acknowledge that we were the ones who had the REAL problem, and we perpetually played the ever-suffering victim. Now, through Recovery, we know the truth and we know we have a choice. We can continue to engage in relationships that are toxic ...