Soulshine

“Oh, there’s a lull in my life It’s a void and empty space…” Alice Faye , There’s a Lull in My Life* Before recovery I more often than not felt like there was a lull in my life. Inside I felt a void and empty space that seemed to be bottomless. All of the shopping in the world failed to fill that void. And I couldn’t begin to eat enough cookies, donuts or cheesecake to fill up the empty spaces inside of me. In between shopping and sugar, I searched endlessly for that “special” person who could hopefully fill the void with love for me and replace my emptiness with happiness. But I never found that person. Or at least I never found that person until I looked in a mirror and finally realized that the only “special” person who was really missing from my life was me. Recovery has taught me that I am the one and only person who can calm the lull in my life; and that I am the only person who can fill the void or empty space inside of me—along with my Higher Power. I cre...

“As we grow into adulthood, we often end up searching for someone to give us what we didn’t get as children. The absence of sufficient attention can create a gnawing hunger for outside approval… Though other’s responses to our efforts (to get their approval) feed our hunger, that satisfaction is only fleeting, and in the end we feel empty again.” Steve Flowers & Bob Stahl, Living with Your Heart Wide Open The great “gnawing” universal empty. That’s what so many of us experience on a daily basis: The Big Empty. Inside we are empty and we have been running on empty for years. We muster enough adrenaline to keep us searching from person to person, from face to face, to find some sign of love or approval. We look for those who have a “Fill ‘er Up” sign on their faces; whether it be in he form of an approving smile or some gentle kindness in their eyes. It may be enough to get us through the day or it may be only enough to get us to the next subway stop. But either way, it’s more than...