Soulshine

It's so true: We only have one life to live-- OURS. And we have a choice everyday. We can choose to work our recovery programs, to consciously change our thinking and behaviors; or we can choose to stop working to improve our lives and regress into the old misery we have so desperately wanted to escape. So how do I want to spend the rest of my life? I want to love myself unconditionally and to stop hating myself. I know learning to love myself unconditionally will help me to accept and love others unconditionally. All of my relationships will improve. I will choose healthier people to engage with and our relationships will be between equals. I am tired of running after people who don't see me. I am always attracted to the most emotionally unavailable and neediest people. After 22 years of Recovery, this is an instinctual battle I have to face every single day. Only through working my CODA program can I consciously choose to no longer engage in relationships with e...

“The purpose of your life isn’t to arrive safely at your death.” Anonymous Codependents usually don’t like to take risks. If we did, we wouldn’t need to rely on manipulation as much as we do before recovery. We would instead ask for what we want and need. We would take the risk of facing a “No” from someone. But many of us believe we aren’t worthy of what we want or need and we are too afraid of rejection to ask. So we avoid risk-taking by relying on manipulation. As a result, life becomes a series of playing it safe day after day. And playing it safe often means continual reliance on ourselves to meet our every want and need without the help of anyone. Some of us become fortresses made of flesh. We become so self-reliant that it no longer even occurs to us to ask for help from anyone. Total self-reliance is a problem with many facets, however. For one thing, we are in a state of denial when we believe we can march through life without being vulnerable or relying on...