Soulshine

“Fatty, fatty two-by-four, can’t get through the kitchen door.” Nursery Rhyme I was a pretty skinny kid until around the age of 12 or 13. It was then that my sugar craving really kicked-in as a means of medicating away the emotional pain that I wasn’t willing to face. Lots of sugar and chips and little exercise, aside from walking to and from school, meant that my slim figure began to expand. And expand it did. The timing couldn’t have been worse. It was right at the age when you are becoming self-conscious about your body, which is already changing in multiple other ways with the onset of puberty. All I heard from family was razzing over having become the fat member of the family. And of course, we know how merciless other kids at school can be. My family was so emotionally unavailable that we never hugged, kissed or touch, and so I already was suffering from touch-deprivation—and feeling completely untouchable and unlovable. Now that I was fat, I saw myself as a c...

All I want for Christmas is self-respect, and it’s a gift that seems to be coming to me more and more each day. Truth is, when you have enough self-love to respect yourself you see the whole world awash in new, brighter colors. You feel like you finally fit-in. You find your space and you walk your path with new vigor. Inside there’s a new feeling and it sings to you and the world around you: “Nothing can stop me now!” Everyone is your equal and you are everyone’s equal. No one can put you down without embarrassing themselves. You own and retain your power regardless of what anyone else says, does, believes or wants. Suddenly you realize that you have become your own best friend. Your body feels comfortable to you no matter what size you are, what color you are or how old or young you are. Your personality bubbles up and spills all over everything and everyone around you—and you love it—even in the face of detractors. You need no one to complete you or make you OK. You’ve disc...