Soulshine

A major character defect shared by most all codependents is manipulation. Engaging in manipulation is fueled by the need to control. A codependent person cannot trust life or others. Of course, life is a fact that we have limited control over. And, unfortunately for the fear-filled codependent, we all need others no matter how independent we pretend to be. This fact provides a serious dilemma for the codependent person. The all-too codependent need to manipulate others plays out magnificently in the 1950 film Harriet Craig . Harriet needs her husband Walter and her cousin Claire, and yet she mistakenly believes she can’t trust either of them. Harriet’s never sure if Walter might betray her at any moment and so she keeps a tight grip on him. She almost never lets him out of her sight, and she’s learned that she needs to keep his leash short. You see, Walter has friends—both men and women—that he ran around with before he met and married Harriet. Those friends are now a thr...

In watching the TV series American Dreams , it’s easy to see how family relationships are based on control. Everyone in the Pryor family is trying to control and manipulate everyone else to ensure their individual happiness. Dad (Jack Pryor) wants his eldest son (J.J.) to attend Notre Dame University on a football scholarship. Notre Dame means nothing to J.J. but he’s constantly coerced by Dad into believing that Notre Dame is actually his (J.J.’s) dream. Of course J.J, rebels. The night a football scout from Notre Dame is coming to the Pryor’s home for dinner, J.J. goes off and gets drunk with a buddy instead of showing up for the dinner. He’s also slow about filling out his application and so Dad takes care of making sure it gets to Notre Dame on time. Dad’s living HIS dream and he can’t accept that it’s not J.J.’s dream, too. Mom (Helen Pryor) doesn’t want to have any more children. She has four already. She wants a life of her own, outside of being a housewife and ...