Soulshine

“Today I look in the mirror and say ‘I love you. I really love you. You are the joy of my life.” Louise Hay I was up early this morning and the Abbott and Costello movie Lost in a Harem was on Turner Classic Movies. In one of the scenes Abbott asks Costello “Did you ever take a good look at yourself in a mirror?” to which Costello replies “No. Why should I hurt my own feelings?” Costello’s comeback was funny and yet sad. So many of us with addictive personalities have difficulty looking at ourselves in mirrors. Before we even look, we already know that we are going to be uncomfortable with what we see, and we don’t want to hurt our already fragile feelings any further. I know that when I look in a mirror myself, I see all of my deformities and shortcomings—or at least the ones that are in my head, the ones I project onto the mirror image of myself. The deformities I see are the ones that society tells me are unacceptable, like wrinkles, lines, sagging, love-handles, ...

“You are the only person who thinks in your mind! You are the power and authority in your world.” Louise Hay It’s true that we have power over our minds, although that power can sometimes be limited by brain chemistry. I suffer with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which is caused by a lack of proper serotonin production. As a result, I sometimes am powerless to override negative thinking with positive thinking. Over the past six months I have been free of any drugs that help your brain to produce serotonin, like Zoloft or Prozac (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). I wanted to see if I could now manage my serotonin through diet, exercise and an increased awareness of my obsessive (irrational) thinking. The first four months went really well. I got all of my feelings back and was able to cry again. One of the downsides of selective serotonin reuptake drugs is that they suppress your feelings. So I was initially happy to feel again—until some of the feelings got...

“The mirror wasn’t judging me, I was judging me. In front of the mirror, I came face to face with my judgments about myself… Who is the ‘I’ that judges that ‘I am not good enough,’ that fears that ‘I am unlovable’ and that whispers ‘I hate myself? It’s not your unconditional self.” Robert Holden , Loveability How comfortable are you standing in front of a mirror and looking intently at yourself? If you’re like me, you don’t look anymore intently than you have to. I look at myself just long enough to make sure my hair is in place and that my clothes aren’t “making me look fat.” I put “making me look fat” in quotations because those aren’t my words. They belong to someone else. They belong to someone who years and years ago told me I was fat and that I needed to make sure that my clothes didn’t enhance the fact. In other words, when I look in the mirror every day, I don’t see me. I see the judgments that have been placed on me by other people. And, unfortunately, thes...

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. Healing means that the damage no longer controls our lives.” Anonymous Healing and forgiveness go hand in hand. We never have complete healing of the damage that’s been done to us until we reach a point of acceptance, of letting go and of forgiveness. Acceptance means we admit we can’t change what happened   and that we don’t have to be the lifetime victim of what happened. Letting go of the damage frees us from our victim mentality and provides us with internal-peace.   Letting go allows us to take our power back from the damage and the person who inflicted it. Once we let go, we’ll find we no longer feel resentful toward that person. Instead, we feel empowered to stand up to that person and to take our power back from him/her in positive ways. So, I’m not talking about revenge here. I’m talking about coming to the realization that the person who hurt us is in some unhealed-way hurting too. His/her unhealed bro...