Soulshine

“Come on. Why don’t you release those brakes?” Mae West , Goin’ to Town I’ve had the brakes-on in terms of concealing who I am for most of my life. Even if I'd let-up on the foot-pedal just enough to allow some of my real self out, I could still rely on the emergency brake to keep people at arms-length—and to keep me safe from them, supposedly. Anyone who has seen the film Goin’ to Town knows that it primarily involves Mae West’s pursuit of a British gentleman who is too well-groomed, and maybe too afraid, to be vulnerable. She’s hot after him and he’s as cool, or rather as frigid, as ice. He isn’t about to let his guard down, reveal any of his true self or allow his honest bubbling-to-the-surface feelings for her to be expressed in any way. He plays it completely safe to the point of losing her to another man—for a time. Too often we are afraid of expressing how we honestly feel about someone. Likewise, we are too often afraid of loosening-up and allowing ours...

As a film buff, I’ve come to really love Mae West. She was someone who really knew how to own her personal power and no one—absolutely no one—could take it away from her. In her 1935 film Goin’ to Town , West exclaims “ Yeah, for a long time I was ashamed of the way I lived.” When questioned about whether she changed herself to please others she says “No, I got over being ashamed.” Seems many of us could take a good lesson or two from Mae West in learning how to get over being ashamed of who we are. No one can shame us unless we allow them to do so. No one can make us feel worthless unless we believe deep down inside that we are worthless. And no one can make a doormat out of us unless we voluntarily lay down for them. It’s time we all learned to get over being ashamed. We can start by realizing that we’re good enough just the way we are. Let’s focus on the inside instead of the outside: Affirm our own goodness. Let’s also care only about what we think of ourselves, an...