Soulshine

Before Recovery, I always attracted people who couldn't possibly love and accept me for who I am. Looking back, I realize the real reason why I attracted and was attracted to those people; because I was unable to love and accept myself for who I am. Recovery has taught me that I have to have a good, loving relationship with myself-- I have to love and accept myself warts and all-- if I want to fix my radar when it comes to relationships. The more I come to love and accept myself, despite all of my perceived/real faults and failings, the more I am attracted to people who also love and accept me for who I am. And the less I am attracted to people who don't accept and love me for who I am because they are unable to love and accept themselves for who they are. Loving and accepting people for who they are doesn't mean that we have to love or accept all of their beliefs, attitudes and behaviors; nor do they have to accept all of our beliefs, attitudes and behaviors.  W...

    All I ever wanted my whole life is to be loved and accepted for who I am. Isn't that what we all want? To know that we are loved and accepted despite our flaws, our failings and our personal imperfections? We've wanted unconditional love and acceptance since we were in our mother's womb. But many of us have never felt loved and accepted for who we are. And sometimes we wonder if the people who do say they love us are only loving us because of what we do for them, what we do to please them, or to get something they want from us; as opposed to loving us exactly for who we are-- for simply being our God-given selves. I want to be loved and accepted for who I am, flaws and all. I know that love and acceptance of me has to begin with me. That's what recovery is all about: reclaiming, accepting and loving our true selves. And through recovery, I have certainly learned to accept and love myself much better-- not perfectly-- but much better than I did before recov...

“When I get lonely and I need to be Loved for who I am, not what they want to see Brothers and sisters, they've always been there for me We have a connection, home is where the heart should be.” Madonna, Keep It Together Home is where the heart should be, but, unfortunately, for many codependents that’s never been possible. Even to this day, it can be difficult for many of us to return “home” to our family of origin. After all, our childhood homes were where our hearts were crushed, slammed against walls, drained of all feeling and left to fend for themselves. Home, for many of us, was where we were severely shamed, beaten endlessly with guilt and stripped of our human dignity. Over the years, our parents may have mellowed some, but deep down they are every bit as broken as they were when we were small children. This makes “home” visits uncomfortable. We don’t have to be “home” very long before mellow gives way to manipulation and criticism. Suddenly we flashback...