Soulshine

“Take a look in the mirror, look at yourself But don’t look too close ‘cause you just might see The person you hate the most.” Natalie Cole, Take A Look Sad to say, but when the average addict looks in the mirror, they more often than not see the person that they hate the most. Or so they think. Truth is that the person they think they are seeing in the mirror isn’t really THAT person at all. No, they aren’t seeing themselves. They are only seeing all of the negative, hateful judgments that they have made against themselves. I don’t know anyone who has liked looking in the mirror less than me. From the time I was a child, when I looked in a mirror, I saw all of the judgments that my parents and others had made against me. I accepted and then adopted those judgments as my own. And I used them again and again to persecute myself every time I had to face a mirror. Recovery has taught me a good lesson, though. That lesson is summed up in a further lyric from the song Ta...

To love well, we first have to understand what it is that keeps us from loving well. The antithesis of love is hate. So examining ourselves to understand whom or what we hate is an important step toward learning to love well. Every child in our society is taught to be fearful of anyone that is different from them and to be leery of any customs or practices that are different from their family norm. More often than not this conditioning is taught to us in subtle ways. For example, as children we hear adults around us criticize or demean people of other races, nationalities, religious practices, sexual orientations and political beliefs. These putdowns are often caged in humor or innuendo, but sometimes they are flagrant violations of God’s law to love your neighbor—no exceptions. Either way, children learn a deep-seated mistrust of those persons who are different from them and this mistrust is fueled by the fear that often erupts as hatred of those who are different and seen as evil i...

There’s a reason why the term “Angel Eyes” has been popular for many years. When you look into the eyes of another person, you see through to their soul, to the angel inside of them. As you peer into the eyes of another, you touch their divine humanness. And in doing so, you allow them to touch your own soul as you open up your inner-angel to them. It takes a great deal of honest, naked vulnerability to look someone deeply in their angel eyes. And it takes loads of courage to keep your eyes focused on theirs as they look you right back in your angel eyes. Sadly, many of us fail to have such courage or naked vulnerability. We’ve been taught to refrain from looking people in the eyes for fear that we will somehow make too much, or too deep of a connection. The supposed fear is that we will then owe the other something, but I think the real fear is that we will have to acknowledge their sacredness as a human being. It’s easier to treat a person like they are a disposable obje...