Soulshine

"Don't you see? I'm not Lula Mae Barnes,  but I'm not Holly Golightly either!" Audrey Hepburn, Breakfast at Tiffany's Every year since 2004, I’ve directed a retreat I call Open Up Your Heart and Let Yourself Out . The focus of this retreat is on a particular human tendency that haunts many people: the fear of self that leads to an endless flight from self.  Those of us who grew up in addictive households have struggled for years with the misguided belief that we aren’t good enough. As a result, we’ve also struggled with an inner-need to escape from ourselves. And so we’ve run and run and run from the very person who dwells within us; the one that we are so afraid to face. Maybe we’re fearful of finding out that this person inside of us really isn’t good enough. Or maybe our fear is just the opposite: Maybe we’re fearful of finding out we actually are good enough and our whole identity will be turned upside-down. During my retreat, I use t...

“I used to love hotels,” says Anna. “Now I’m always in a new apartment or in a hotel somewhere... It makes it easy to leave people.” Oliver looks her in the eyes and says “You can stay in the same place and still find ways to leave people,”   “You are like that?” asks Anna, “It’s what you do?” Oliver nods his head in the affirmative. “So we are the same” says Anna. To which Oliver replies “I guess so.” From the film Beginners , 2010 Running away from people is the great American Pastime for many of us. We’ve built our lives on running away from ourselves, and we’ve been doing that since we were about five years old. A major problem with running away from one’s self is that it requires us to then run away from everyone. Subconsciously we know that if we can’t face ourselves, we can’t face anyone. I mean, if we’re not willing to face ourselves, what self do we have to show to someone? We have no sense of self. We’re just a name with a face and a body but not much mor...