Soulshine

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt It’s certainly true that no one has ever made me feel inferior, aside from myself. We often make the mistake of blaming others for “making” us feel a certain way when there is no truth to this concept. No one “makes” me feel a certain way. I “choose” to feel a certain way. If someone says something and I feel diminished in some way it’s probably because they’ve unknowingly touched on an area inside of me where I ruthlessly criticize myself. More often than not, there’s no intent on behalf of the other person to be mean. It’s more about how I feel about myself. We can’t go through life telling ourselves repeatedly “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m such an idiot” or “I’m so ugly” or “I’m so incompetent” and not feel the repercussions of it at any given moment. This self-inflicted mental cruelty makes us hyper-vulnerable. We’re constantly on guard and at any moment we can purposely take anything a...

In the 1942 film Now, Voyager , there’s a very moving scene between Bette Davis (who plays Charlotte Vale) and Paul Henreid (who plays Jerry Durrance). It’s evening and the two are standing on the deck of an ocean-liner that’s heading toward Brazil. Earlier, they had spent the day site-seeing together.   Now, they’re sharing inner-secrets and taking time to actually be real with each other. Charlotte wipes away some very bittersweet tears and thanks Jerry for helping her to almost feel fully alive. It’s a touching, sad and yet hopeful moment for Charlotte—and those of us who can relate to her.  I’m not sure that I know what it feels like to be fully alive. There are times when, for just a few fleeting seconds, I have felt fully free, exhilarated and alive. It’s as if I am suddenly a real person in a real world that is filled with love, opportunities and excitement. The sky is electric blue, the air is fully fresh and I feel like I can swim oceans. But the feeling qui...