Soulshine

“I do not explain, defend or justify my life to anyone. I am my own creation, intent on being myself.” Dr. Chris Michaels Many codependents spend a lot of time explaining, defending and justifying their lives—even their existence—to others. Someone criticizes something we said or did and a panic alarm goes off inside of us. We then bend over backwards to whitewash ourselves. We back pedal on our beliefs or our values and desperately repaint ourselves in the color that this critical person wants us to be. Before recovery many of us were like chameleons. Every hour of every day often led to a change in our color or in our song and dance. It was always more important to us to sing the song someone else wanted us to sing, or to dance the dance that made other people happy. Yup, we were champions of giving our personal power away to everyone we thought was better than us. And by the time we entered recovery, many of us didn’t know our own voices anymore. We had complet...

“… I leaned into my longing. I felt the sadness and emptiness in my soul that came from years of buying into the story that I am not good enough, something I’d been trying to avoid for a long time.” Chris Michaels, The Power of You In The Power of You , Chris Michaels refers to the belief of “I’m not good enough” as being like a beast in the center of your being. Anyone who has ever suffered from addictive behaviors is familiar with this beast. It’s the Beast of inherent shame and there’s no feeling on earth as bad. Many of us have tried desperately to tame this beast through our addictive acting-out. We may have used alcohol, drugs, sugar, shopping, people, gambling, sex or many other self-destructive forms of behavior to quiet the beast. All of them failed time and again—and they always will fail. Addiction is a means of running from the Beast. We never conquer anything we run from. Once we start running, we never stop because the beast is always one step ...