Detaching With Love Doesn’t Mean We Are Disinterested in Others
There is a big difference between detachment and disinterest. Many people who suffer from codependency confuse these two terms. Active codependents are so enmeshed in the lives of others that they don’t know where they end and those they are caretaking begin. For the most part, active codependents cast their own problems aside as they choose to own the problems of the people they have taken hostage. The active codependent feels responsible for owning, moaning and groaning over and solving the problems of others. They mistakenly believe that it is their responsibility to rescue others from their problems and that by rescuing others they will rescue themselves from being loveless. In recovery, codependents learn that they need to be responsible for their lives and no one else’s life. This means that we have to learn to separate ourselves from the people we have become enmeshed in. We need to come to an understanding about life-ownership. We are the stewards of our lives—only—an...