Soulshine

“Woke up this morning Closed in on all sides Nothing doing I feel resistance As I open my eyes Someone's fooling I've found a way to break Through this cellophane line Cause I know what's going on In my own mind. Am I living in a box Am I living in a cardboard box Am I living in a box Am I living in a cardboard box Am I living in a box?” Living In a Box by Living In a Box (1987) I’ve spent most of my life living in a box. As a child, I began constructing cardboard walls. Each and every passing year led me to reinforce these walls. During grade school and high school the walls were so well reinforced that they were practically indestructible. And by the time I reached college, I had closed the top on the box so tight that I could barely breathe inside of it. In many ways the box was an invisible shield around me. It protected me any time I needed to leave my room—my only place of safe-refuge within our house or the world for that matter. So t...

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” The Twelve Steps Life Learning Device As a person who grew-up never feeling good enough about myself, I learned to build many walls. Looking back I realize that I always wanted to build bridges. I’m a romantic at heart. It’s part of my nature. I want to love and be loved. But fear always got in my way: Fear of being hurt again and fear of abandonment. Even now, I can see how fear moves me to burn bridges with people that I am choosing to get closer to on a personal level. I have a friend who I love dearly right now and we have really great times together. When I’m in the moment everything is great, but when I have down time and get into my head I find myself keeping the Old Check List. The Old Check List is my way of destroying relationships or burning bridges between myself and others. The List consist of all the reasons why a particular person isn’t really good enough for me. As odd as it seems, t...