Soulshine

“Pull the string and I'll wink at you, I'm your puppet I'll do funny things if you want me to, I'm your puppet… Your every wish is my command All you gotta do is wiggle your little hand I'm your puppet, I'm your puppet… Pull them little strings and I'll sing you a song, I'm your puppet Make me do right or make me do wrong, I'm your puppet Treat me good and I'll do anything I'm just a puppet and you hold my string, I'm your puppet Yeah, I'm your puppet Walking, talking, living, loving puppet I'm hanging on a string, I'll do anything now… I’m a smiling happy face when you want me to Even make you happy when you're feeling blue.” James & Bobby Purify , I’m Your Puppet (1966) Anyone who has ever suffered from codependency knows what it’s like to be another person’s puppet. Many of us have made a career out of being most anyone’s puppet. We’ve allowed family, friends, pastors, teachers, bosses and e...

I have a friend named Ted who doesn’t take good care of himself. Ted doesn’t know how to love Ted. And I think that Ted has so disassociated himself from “Ted,” that he doesn’t even realize that he’s left himself behind. Ted felt abandoned as a child. No one was there for Ted: Not mom, nor dad nor anyone. So Ted learned to abandon himself at a very young age. He left Ted behind and became whomever made “you” happy— “you” being anyone who would even acknowledge his existence. Ted became a codependent, caretaking, people-pleasing chameleon as he grew into adulthood. As an adult, Ted became very good at taking care of everyone’s needs, except his own. He’s looked after the needs of the mom and dad who were never there for him emotionally. He’s looked after the needs of friends, other family members and total strangers. But he’s never looked after Ted’s needs because he thinks the Ted he left behind isn’t worth the effort. Part of the reason why Ted has never felt worthy ...