Soulshine

We vow to put an end to the three obstacles of earthly desire, actions and retribution, and transform the afflictions. We vow to realize the wisdom that sees clearly things as they are. May our desire to put an end to these obstacles be universally realized. Buddhist Chant The average person places many obstacles in his/her daily path. Those of us who suffer with addictive behaviors know that unattainable desires present a serious problem for us. We too often want what we cannot have and we are in serious denial about the fact that we are powerless. It’s our great denial that leads us to believe that we can attain our desires through manipulation of reality. This blindness then leads us down a path of destruction as our focus and our actions become obsessively driven toward attaining the impossible. We desire this particular man or this particular woman and we want them to save us. We want him or her to want us as badly as we mistakenly believe we want him or...

“If I knew how good it felt,  I would have done it a long time ago. It really felt amazing ...  It's about self-esteem and dignity at the end of the day.” Ricky Martin Pop singer Ricky Martin came out of the closet as a gay man a year or two ago. He chose to stop pretending he was someone he wasn’t. It didn’t make him any less of a man, or any less of a talented human being. It may or may not have affected his personal relationships and his career. But none of that is near as important as how it affected him in his own relationship with himself. And on a personal level he says “It really felt amazing.” He got his own self-respect back and that’s irreplaceable because no amount of success could make him happy if he wasn’t happy with himself. It makes no difference what we have been hiding from others. Maybe we’ve been keeping a secret about our sexual orientation, or our addictive habits, or a past mistake, or a personal disability. But no matter what it i...

I used to despise it when people would ask me “How are you doing (feeling) today?” First off, I didn’t believe anyone REALLY wanted to know the answer to that question. And secondly, I often times didn’t know, or didn’t want to face, how I was feeling. Can you identify what you’re feeling today-- right now—in this moment? Are you feeling content, sad, happy, anxious, afraid, cautious, mad, bored, impatient, tired, excited or restless? Or are you feeling “fine,” which usually means numb or basically out of touch with your feelings all together? A major problem for people suffering from codependency or other forms of addictive behavior is that they are completely out of touch with their bodies and thus their feelings. They’ve grown use to living inside of their heads and out of their bodies. So they can’t tell in any given moment what they’re feeling, shy of anger, fear or frustration. I remember telling someone once about a friend who had lied to me. We were supposed to...