Soulshine

    Even if we have been in recovery for years, it’s still easy to fall back into the codependent crazies if we aren’t practicing strict awareness. We meet someone new and we may initially feel nothing special about this person. We like them and we enjoy seeing them. But as time passes we can suddenly catch ourselves thinking more and more about them, daydreaming about being with them, wanting to buy things for them, feeling empty and deprived when they aren’t around, wondering about what they are doing—in other words obsessing about them. When we feel the inner-turmoil of obsessing endlessly about the other person, we have fallen back into the codependent crazies and we are out of control. The painful feelings of obsessive love are a warning sign: they can lift the veil of denial and bring us back to reality. If, at this point, we truly open our inner-eyes we now have a choice: we can continue down the insane path of the codependent crazies by keeping our focus solely a...

A major problem for most codependents is where they place their focus. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children to place our focus outside of ourselves. And as a result, we developed a stifling emptiness inside of our souls. The day we began to look outside of ourselves for fulfillment was the day that a hole ate through our hearts. It was the day we chose to abandon ourselves. And so we began the quest of finding someone, anyone, to fill up the emptiness we anxiously felt. Day after day we took up the quest to find love and approval outside of ourselves. We looked to mom and dad, siblings, grandparents, friends and teachers to give us the validation that we no longer knew how to give to ourselves. Sometimes we received the approval we sought, but if never managed to fill-up the emptiness of the hole that was rapidly expanding inside of us. As we grew into being teenagers and young adults, we began to feel overwhelmed with the landfill that was expanding insi...

I f you have trouble owning your personal power over the Holidays, turn things over to your Higher Power and accept the help you need to be at peace. I hope this prayer helps! Dear God, I’m powerless over family members and friends during the Holiday season. It’s impossible for me to own their issues by attempting to fix them all. Please help me to let go of my need to control family, friends and their behavior this Christmas. Help me to, instead, focus on my own feelings and behavior. I surrender all of my imperfections to you. And my prayer is that you will help me stay balanced and focused on relating to others from a loving place within me. Please remind me to never take anything that anyone says or does personally. The bad behavior of family and friends is not about me-- It’s about them and their own personal brokenness. When I am faced with negative comments or behavior, I will trust you Lord to help me breathe, acknowledge my feelings and think. I want to ...