Soulshine

One of the most important things about attending a recovery group, like Alcoholics Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous, is that you get to tell your story. Our personal stories are very important. They represent a life that is like no other. Yes, we all have overlapping experiences in life, but no one else has ever experienced life in exactly the same way as we have experienced it. We have all experienced painful situations in our lives, but no one has experienced emotional, mental, physical or spiritual pain as we have. So it’s important that we share our stories, the good and the bad, with people who are safe. Telling our story is scary territory for many of us. First off, we grew up with the unwritten rule that we are forbidden to tell our family story. We were told things like “What happens in this house stays here. You understand that?!!!” Or “We don’t air our dirty family laundry, so keep your mouth zipped!!!” As a result, so many of us learned to clam-up and keep every...

One of the most frustrating things about recovery is that it happens through baby steps. The modern world is all about having what we want NOW . Life moves as fast as light. We don’t want to wait for anything—much less happiness. But recovery is a lifetime process. It’s about taking those little steps toward mental and emotional sanity—and then falling hard on your ass. It’s about picking yourself up, saying “It’s OK” and getting to a support group meeting. Meetings provide us with the ability to acknowledge that we’ve made progress and to be happy about it. They also provide us with a means of expressing our frustrations with the mistakes we are still making. And they provide us with a means of owning and safely releasing the feelings that sometimes overwhelm us. Experiences and feelings intertwine between members of support groups. As they do, we know that we aren’t alone and that we aren’t “freaks” because of our feelings or the mistakes that we have made. As a...

” We make the same mistakes and we share the same heartbreaks all you've got to do is let go Let go, let go Yeah, let go Let the spirit world inside protect you Let go, let go and let the wings of change direct you All you've got to do is let go.” Let Go by Intimate Strangers One of the great things about being in a 12 Step support group is the fact that you are constantly reminded of this one truth: Yes, indeed, we all make the same basic mistakes and we all share similar heartbreaks. It’s simply a fact that we are all in this messy, messy life together. And it’s also a fact that we are all meant to learn from each other by sharing our messy stories. They help to build bridges between us—bridges that lead us to new places filled with great wisdom and comfort. The very first Codependents Anonymous meeting I ever attended was at the Steps Alano Club in St. Louis, Missouri back in October of 1995. It was my first time attending any 12 Step group meetin...

Everyone has a need to belong. We all have a need for others, for a sense of kinship and for the comfort of being acceptable just as we are. This is very different from having a need for approval. The need for approval from others is a cancer of the heart and mind. It destroys your soul. The need for approval places you at the mercy of others. It gives other people total power over your happiness, well-being and, essentially, every aspect of your life. If you have a deep need for the approval of others, if you believe you need others to decide for you whether or not you are OK, then you need to rewire your thinking. You already have the approval of your Maker. The only other approval you need is your own. Take back your power by approving of yourself. It's nobody else's responsibility to decide if you are OK or not. And no one has the right to criticize you, or belittle you as "not good enough" unless you give them that power. Seek your own approval, claim y...