Tell Your Story

One of the most important things about attending a recovery group, like Alcoholics Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous, is that you get to tell your story. Our personal stories are very important. They represent a life that is like no other. Yes, we all have overlapping experiences in life, but no one else has ever experienced life in exactly the same way as we have experienced it.

We have all experienced painful situations in our lives, but no one has experienced emotional, mental, physical or spiritual pain as we have. So it’s important that we share our stories, the good and the bad, with people who are safe.

Telling our story is scary territory for many of us. First off, we grew up with the unwritten rule that we are forbidden to tell our family story. We were told things like “What happens in this house stays here. You understand that?!!!” Or “We don’t air our dirty family laundry, so keep your mouth zipped!!!” As a result, so many of us learned to clam-up and keep everything hidden inside of us. We felt as if we couldn’t tell our story because if we even opened up enough to tell the good about who we are, we’d end up somehow spilling the beans about the forbidden.

No one grew-up more closed-mouthed than me. I never let anything be known about myself, aside from the fact that I loved music and bought all of the newest releases by all of the coolest bands. I had an iron-clad mega-super-firewall built around me that kept every other secret about me safely hidden. As a result, I had few friends because I refused to tell my story and to let people know who I was. What I didn’t understand was that if people couldn’t get through that firewall, they couldn’t know me; and if they couldn’t know me, we had no way to bond because there was no way for them to like me. We have to know someone to like them.

In recovery, I’ve learned that it is essential to tell my story. By telling my story, I come to own it, the good and the bad, and it allows me to finally be real. It gives me a better sense of knowing that I count, because my story is worth telling and worth hearing. It also provides me with a sense of healing because telling my story in group helps me to process the hurt I’ve experienced. Telling my story also helps me to bond with those who have had similar experiences. When we bond, we form community, gain a much needed sense of belonging and a new-found feeling of wholeness.

Telling our story in recovery groups also provides us with a tremendous spiritual experience. We experience the Spirit of our Higher Power working through us and through the group to provide guidance and healing.

If you are afraid to tell your story, that’s OK. The day will come when you will be able to step one foot outside your comfort zone and tell others some small piece of your story. Gradually, if you stay faithful to a recovery group, you will find great delight and fabulous bonding by telling your story.