Soulshine

Codependents are often very compliant. We often enter recovery with a strong need to please other people in order to earn our self-worth, to earn love. One of the most dangerous compliance patterns for codependents, and sex-love addicts, is that some of us accept sexual acting-out when we really want love. And this acting-out eventually leads us to experience feelings of self-betrayal, abuse, disappointment, shame, guilt and anger. I remember one of the first CODA meetings I attended at the Steps Alano Club in St. Louis, Missouri. A woman stood up and admitted that she felt so unlovable and so worthless that she had developed a pattern of behavior in which she engaged in sex with anyone who showed even the slightest interest in her. It was the only way she knew how to medicate away her emotional pain about feeling like a worthless person. She even admitted to having sex with men she actually despised because she was so desperate for some form of affirmation, of affection, even t...

“Pull the string and I'll wink at you, I'm your puppet I'll do funny things if you want me to, I'm your puppet… Your every wish is my command All you gotta do is wiggle your little hand I'm your puppet, I'm your puppet… Pull them little strings and I'll sing you a song, I'm your puppet Make me do right or make me do wrong, I'm your puppet Treat me good and I'll do anything I'm just a puppet and you hold my string, I'm your puppet Yeah, I'm your puppet Walking, talking, living, loving puppet I'm hanging on a string, I'll do anything now… I’m a smiling happy face when you want me to Even make you happy when you're feeling blue.” James & Bobby Purify , I’m Your Puppet (1966) Anyone who has ever suffered from codependency knows what it’s like to be another person’s puppet. Many of us have made a career out of being most anyone’s puppet. We’ve allowed family, friends, pastors, teachers, bosses and e...