Soulshine

“Well you never lost but you never won,  cause you never fought and you never moved on…  If you’re gonna save a life, baby it should be your own.” Keaton Simons, Beautiful Pain Sometimes we, as codependents, never fight for ourselves and our lives and sometimes we give-up the good fight too easily. There could be a variety of reasons for this. First off, active non-recovering codependents are way too busy trying to save the lives of others. And their underlying motto is “No time for my life! Everyone else comes first!” And this type of thinking is so engrained it’s hard to shake, even if you’ve been in recovery for a while. But many of us in recovery know that our lives have to come first, and yet we can still fail to move on. We’ll take giant leaps forward, but then we’ll stall. Suddenly, we aren’t willing to fight for our right to be happy any longer and we’re back on our pity pots. Or worse, we’re tempted to simply go back to all of the old comfortable cod...

“I want what I want and I want it now!” is a favorite mantra for most addictive personalities. Actually across the United States , it’s a favorite mantra for most everyone. I know a young couple. They are both college professors and they are lucky enough to be working at the same university. But they hate the city they are living in. They’ve sent out dozens of resumes, but nobody is knocking the door down to hire them. And they’ve made the conscious (or maybe unconscious) choice to be miserable about it all. Why? Because they want what they want and they want it now—and, unfortunately for them, the world isn’t responding to their demands. Common sense has something to say about this. First it shows how spoiled and impatient we are. Instead of making unreasonable demands, instead of choosing to be miserable, this couple could be focusing what they do have. For example, they have each other in a good marriage. They also have good jobs in their chosen professional fields at ...