Soulshine

I’m learning that there is a fine line between the desire to lose yourself in someone and the desire to simply be with someone. So, how do we know when we’ve crossed over the line? We all have the need to be with others, and sometimes that need extends beyond casual friendship. The need can be for someone we feel safe with, someone we can open-up to and talk honestly with, someone we can laugh and cry with; and, ultimately, someone we can simply rest-in knowing that we are always safe and cared for in the arms of that person. The great comfort here is in our knowing that this particular person accepts us and we accept him/her unconditionally. There are no strings attached and thus no need to manipulate each other. And it’s not a matter of getting lost in each other, but rather, in supporting each other. The sort of “need” I just described is very different from feeling desperately “needy” for someone. And “desperate” may be the key word here. Neediness is driven by a deep...

There’s a big difference between needing someone to fill up our emptiness and needing companionship. Everyone needs companionship. We all need the simple companionship that we usually find in various social settings, from school to church to clubs to work. We need the sense of connection, of belonging and of happiness we find in sharing common interests with others. This is how companionship begins. We meet people we like and we discern who we have the greatest sense of connection with and who we best feel we are able to trust. Then we begin to build a deeper bond with those persons. We all need to tell our story to others. And it’s essential that we open up and be honest about who we are with at least one other person. Someone needs to hear and experience the true mystery of who we are. And there is a two-fold miracle that evolves from our telling our story to others. Those who hear and experience it know and understand us better—and we begin to know and understand ourselves better....