Soulshine

“Cause I'm only strong as glass They say I'm built to last but I could break Yeah I'm only strong as glass And I am all I have so if I break, there's no more.” Goapelle, Strong As Glass (2014) Most of my life I’ve felt as if I was only as strong as glass. And I don’t mean that in a physical sense, but in an emotional sense. Inside, my spirit or soul has always felt fragile. It was severely damaged in my childhood when I chose to give all of my personal power away to my parents and grandparents. This is a choice that most every child in an abusive home makes. Children basically have no other choice because they believe their parents and grandparents are infallible and all-powerful, like God. A child believes that his/her parents have to be right and that he/she has to be wrong. So when a child is shamed into believing that he/she is defective in some way, worthless or unlovable, he/she can reach that point of being emotionally devastated; even annihil...

“I’m never afraid. I Never look down. I always look up. That’s why I’m a very remarkable fellow! It’s wonderful the things I feel… Sometimes I could reach out and touch a star!” Chico, 7 th Heaven (1927) Positive thinking makes a tremendous difference in our lives. It’s all about perspective. And growing up in an alcoholic household didn’t allow me the chance to develop much in the way of a positive perspective. I spent most of my childhood feeling pretty hopeless. And the older I got, the less hope I had that things were going to get better. My teen-age years were far worse than my preteen years. Certainly, I learned to look down a lot, and if I felt remarkable in any way, it was remarkably worthless. I had learned to give all of my power away to my parents and that started a trend. Likewise, I gave my power away to mean-spirited teachers, peers and even complete strangers. I had learned to be the perpetual victim, who freely gave his power away because he felt ...

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Neale Donald Walsch I’m beginning to think that life has always been a problem for me because my comfort zone is so massive and impossible for anyone to penetrate—including me. It holds me safely inside of it and it definitely keeps everyone else out—even those people I don’t really want to keep out. Actually, I’m realizing that I have been a prisoner of my comfort zone most all of my life. It was useful at first. It kept me safe from further rejection and emotional pain. But it grew with every year of my life until it grew into something so massive that I no longer had any power over it. I have been trapped inside my comfort zone for many years and never understood that it was holding me hostage. It’s true that life begins at the end of our comfort zones. And because I’ve never been able to penetrate my comfort zone, life has never truly begun for me. In recent weeks I’ve been trying to get beyond playing it safe. ...