Whose Approval Do You Need?
I used to think that EVERYONE had to like me—or I wasn’t OK. I used to think that EVERYONE had to agree with me—or I wasn’t OK. So I learned to feel very bad about myself when I was disliked by anyone—even the stranger on the street. And I learned to hold my tongue around people whose approval I wanted. In other words, I learned to wait to hear what everyone else liked or believed before I put my two-cents into a conversation. That way, I could simply agree with them (even when I didn’t) and not have to worry about having someone shame me or make me feel lesser-than because I had different tastes or a different viewpoint. Essentially what I learned to do was to completely give myself away while I was giving away all of my personal power over my own life and feelings. I was OK as long as someone else agreed with me or told me I was OK. I was also a miserable little nothing if someone disagreed with me or refused to tell me I was OK. This made for a very miserable existence...