No One Earns Love Through Sex
“Do whatever you want with me, anything you want with me, fill me up with your memory.” Foxy, Lady of the Streets (1979) I believe love and sex addiction are derived from codependency. Some people have such a giant void inside themselves that nothing can seemingly fill it up aside from physical touch. In the same way that a sugar addict needs a donut or a shopping addict needs a new pair of shoes when they are ultimately feeling bad about themselves, a sex addict needs physical fulfillment. The root cause of this addiction can be complex. Some sex addiction is rooted in the fact that a person was sexually abused as a child. But much of it derives from the fact that all addictive thinking is rooted in a deep sense of self-worthlessness. Addicts believe that they are inherently unlovable and that they have to earn love. For some addicts, sex becomes a viable way of earning love—or some form of validation of their worth from others that they actually mistake for lo...