Nothing’s Going to Change Until You Look Inside
“You’ve been down for days and days, but searching for another won’t fix a thing…. Nothing’s going to change until you look inside.” The Colourist, Yes Yes Every codependent has a hole in his/her heart. We’re like human doughnuts and unfortunately, the hole is often large and gaping. Just as unfortunately we tend to be as confused about how the hole developed as we are about how to fill it. To make matters worse, we rarely focus on how the hole did develop. All of our attention is focused on filling the hole, and the only sensible way most of us can see to fill the hole is from outside ourselves. So we find ourselves endlessly “searching for another” to fix the hole in our hearts. And most any codependent can rattle off a long list of names—all of people that they used to fill the hole and none of whom were able to truly fill it. Guy after guy, or girl after girl, we have attempted to stuff them inside our empty spaces. When one guy or girl didn’t fit, we figured ...