The Preconceived Resentment Trap
I have said before that expectations are preconceived resentments. This is a lesson that many codependents need to learn over and over again. After all, we are good at assembling numerous expectations in our heads, primarily about what other people should or should not be doing. It’s habitual behavior and we need to be aware of our tendency to fall into the Preconceived Resentment Trap. It’s January and in the United States it’s cold and flu season. If I come down with a cold or flu, it’s easy for me to not want to be responsible for myself. After all, we codependents aren’t masters of taking good care of ourselves to begin with, and so it’s easy for us to shift our expectations toward everyone else in the family. So let’s say we have a cold. We’re sniffling and coughing, feeling achy and miserable and wanting someone to rescue us. We notice a pain in our throat, and we realize that we don’t have anymore cough drops. So we sigh and think how wonderful it would be if our s...