Who’s Yanking on Your Security Blanket?
Today I’m becoming aware that my feelings of safety and belonging are often tied to my (false) belief that I need to earn approval from others. Of course I can easily see that this is all tied into my long history of being the “good boy.” I was taught at an early age that I needed to earn a good approval rating from everyone else in this world. It was the only way that I was going to be acceptable. Certainly I learned that I couldn’t be acceptable by simply being me. I had to earn it. I had to do all of the proper people-pleasing tricks so I could get a nice pat on the head and have people say “Oh, isn’t he sweet” or “What a nice boy.” I look back now and realize that I’ve spent most of my life being more of a Poodle than a person. Even to this day, if I don’t follow all of the rules, as determined by others, I feel like I am in someway worthless and unlovable. People object, I don’t get my pat on the head and, as a result, I have my safety blanket yanked away from within...