Soulshine

“We’re tapped because of a universal human expectation that the world will treat us fairly. This is a cherished, childish assumption—‘If I’m good, the world will be good to me.’ We should know better.” Phil Stutz & Barry Michels, The Tools Granted, like Jimmy Seymour in Broadway Serenade , many of us mess-up our relationships because our self-love and self-esteem are poor. But many of us also mess-up relationships because we have an age-old bad belief stored in our subconscious minds. And that belief is that life should be fair. The belief that life (and thus relationships) should be fair is as irrational as an old belief that plague me for years: Everyone should like me. Both of these beliefs produce expectations that only serve to make our lives miserable. For many years I agonized whenever someone obviously didn’t like me. It left me feeling like a failure as a person. The belief that I should be liked by everyone kept me on constant guard. It meant everyt...