Soulshine

It’s never too late to learn to say to yourself “I love you.” I recently uncovered some old photographs from my days working at the Kentucky Court of Justice. They brought back wonderful memories of many friends I haven’t seen in a long time. But they also awakened something new in me. As I looked at myself in these photos I thought “Wow! I was really cute!” Never before have I looked at an adult photo of myself and thought anything positive about me. It’s always been “Oh, I look so fat!” Or “Oh, my hair looks horrible!” Or “God, look at that nasty acne!” But that wasn’t the case this time. When I looked closer at myself in these pictures I did see the redness in my face, the zit on one side of my nose, but it was OK. These horrors of the past, which had kept me from loving myself when I was in my 20s, didn’t keep me from seeing past them this time. I was able to see past them and recognize the beauty that was underneath them. I was able to see a nice face that I liked ve...

“One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery How often do we take the time to allow our hearts to make us the blessed ones? Only the heart can see clearly that true beauty runs beneath the surface of the eye. And only heart wisdom can reveal the mystery of natural beauty: that it begins within and blossoms outward through all of nature. It’s easy to see beauty on the surface. We see the beauty of a sunrise painted paisley across the blue sky with pink, and purple tones. And we see the beauty of red and yellow wild-flowers dancing across green gardens. But do we understand that this beauty emanates from within? That all of nature loves itself enough to blossom on the outside so beautifully? Can a violet frown upon itself for not being good enough? Can a rose have a bad petal day? Does the moon moan over its quarter-face? No. They long to grow into the fullness of their beauty, nurturing themselves fro...

Hope everyone has a very Blessed Christmas and Holiday Season. Remember to let go of expectations. Accept each moment and every person as they are by not demanding that they be as you want them to be. If you accept the moment as it is you will find joy in it. If you accept others as they are, you will find beauty in them. And if you accept yourself as you are you will find joy, beauty and complete peace!

O God you are my God Have mercy on me for I am a miserable worm I am guilty of being alive, brought into this world by an act of sin And I am equally as guilty of breathing the air that is not mine for the taking Forgive me for being a wretched piece of shit for I was born this way I am guilty, I am guilty, I am guilty… And if you are really a God of Love you will wipe away all of this guilt and shame That I was taught as a child by people with good intentions Who were brainwashed by people with evil intentions People who wanted to control and manipulate others To gain personal power, prestige and wealth in Your Name. Amen. This first stanza above is how I have often felt based in my religious upbringing. It’s how I feel whenever I read certain Psalms. It represents how my parents saw themselves and how they viewed sexuality. I don’t blame them for it. They were not bad people. They were simply taught the wrong things by well-intentioned people who had ...

The air is alive with yellow butterflies today. Everywhere I walk or look my eyes are entranced by their joyful acrobatics. I’ve watched them fly, twist and turn in all directions. They’ve encircled my head, rubbed noses with each other and introduced themselves to every flower. In many ways, these butterflies remind me of two year old children who are excited about their new-found ability to walk upright and explore the world around them. Two-year-olds always seem so exhilarated as they chase after all of the mysteries and fascinations their ever-expanding worlds have to offer them. Remember when you chased after life with wide-eyed wonderment? Remember when everything seemed new and exciting? Remember when you thought you had wings-enough to float through life like a butterfly? Inside my heart, I hear a solid round of “No, no, no.” It’s been so long since everything seemed radiant and beautiful to me that I don’t remember what it was like to experience the world anew ...

“Everything must find fulfillment or perish.” Ernest Holmes , This Thing Called You In This Thing Called You , Ernest Holmes says that a “rose exists to express beauty.” I believe this is also true of humans. We exist to express beauty; in particular the beauty of love—a love that can only come from within us. And yet, it seems we spend much of our time expressing ugliness—an ugliness that, likewise, can only come from within us. Why is this? Well, maybe it’s because we aren’t finding fulfillment in our own personal beauty. If we aren’t finding fulfillment in our own personal beauty, we are slowly perishing within ourselves. With each passing second of each passing day, we lose touch with the great love that resides within us. We disconnect from our life-source and from our true selves. An empty space develops and that empty space is quickly filled with sadness, bitterness, frustration, fear, hopelessness and all of the other necessary ingredients for inner-ugliness. I...

“I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. I’m, I’m, I’m too sexy!” Right Said Fred I often encourage people to alter their morning ritual. I suggest that they make one little adjustment when they approach their bathroom mirror. Before shaving or applying makeup I tell them to sing a chorus of   “I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt.” And as soon as I make this suggestion, everyone does what you just did: They laugh out loud—or at the very least they allow a little smile to steal across their faces. In recovery, it’s important to be able to laugh at yourself. We codependents tend to take life way too seriously. We ruminate over our feelings of emptiness and worthlessness. Some mornings it almost seems unbearable to look at ourselves in the mirror. We’re sick of our self-loathing and our self-imposed loneliness. And a good way to rise above all of our gloom is to be able to laugh at ourselves. More importantly, if we stand in front of our mirrors and sing “I’m Too Se...

“Frame your own life events in a way that helps people  understand what to make of you.” Anonymous It’s Christmas Eve and the greatest gift we can give and receive is love. Forget the other stuff. Love last forever. In order for people to love us, however, they have to understand us. To understand us they need to know us. We have to be vulnerable enough to open up our hearts, look inside and come to understand ourselves. We can then paint an authentic portrait of who we are and frame ourselves in such a way that our lives make sense to us and others. Those who like the authentic portrait we paint of ourselves and those who understand the way in which we have framed our lives, will grow to love us just as we are. These are the people we want to add to the portrait that we savor as family and friends. These are the people who matter. These are the people we want to spend our days with, especially our Holidays.  Spend some good time with yourself on this Chri...