Look Beyond Your Self- Judgments and Love Yourself



It’s never too late to learn to say to yourself “I love you.” I recently uncovered some old photographs from my days working at the Kentucky Court of Justice. They brought back wonderful memories of many friends I haven’t seen in a long time. But they also awakened something new in me.

As I looked at myself in these photos I thought “Wow! I was really cute!” Never before have I looked at an adult photo of myself and thought anything positive about me. It’s always been “Oh, I look so fat!” Or “Oh, my hair looks horrible!” Or “God, look at that nasty acne!” But that wasn’t the case this time.

When I looked closer at myself in these pictures I did see the redness in my face, the zit on one side of my nose, but it was OK. These horrors of the past, which had kept me from loving myself when I was in my 20s, didn’t keep me from seeing past them this time. I was able to see past them and recognize the beauty that was underneath them. I was able to see a nice face that I liked very much; an innocent face that represented the very hurting, but good person that I was—and still am.

Of course, regret has set in and I know it needs to for awhile. I have regrets now about not being able to see the beauty that was me at that time. Now I regret that I wasn’t able to look in a mirror back then and say “I love you just the way you are. I accept you just the way you are. And I am happy with you.”

It makes me sad that over my life I was never able to do that. But then I realize that there’s nothing stopping me from doing it now. I can’t be 27 again and look in the mirror and appreciate and love myself. But I can do it now. And I am choosing to do it now.

It’s very true that when we look in a mirror we see all of the judgments we’ve made against ourselves. We too often fail to look past the judgments (like “I can’t be lovable with this acne,” or “I’m too fat,” or “I’m not pretty,” or “If only I could be smart enough to get my life together.”) And because we fail to look past these judgments we never see the real beauty that we possess underneath.

It’s time we all stopped looking at the judgments we’ve condemned ourselves with, and start looking at the true beauty we possess underneath those judgments. Today is a great time to start.

The sooner we start seeing and acknowledging our own beauty and value, the sooner we will be happy; the sooner we will become content in our own skin and the sooner we will connect with other people in life-giving ways.

Today I’m looking in the mirror and saying “I accept and love you just the way you are. You’re handsome to me from the inside-out.” How about you? Now it’s your time to do the same.

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