The Joys of Saying NO!
Most codependents have trouble saying “NO.” We allow ourselves to be put-upon. In fact, we often invite it. People learn quickly that we can’t say “No” to them or anyone. And so we develop a reputation. People know exactly who to look for if they need something done that they don’t want to do themselves. So they come and seek us out. They say “Were is that foolish little codependent?” as they scheme in their heads a new way to manipulate us into doing what they want. Sometimes they ask directly, but many times all they have to do is breathe a heavy sigh and tell us their dilemma. Once we hear that they need some type of help, many of us just jump right in and volunteer to be their victim without them even having to formally ask us. We sacrifice ourselves all for the purpose of pleasing them and reassuring ourselves that they will remain our friend. Obviously, we need to develop a new definition of friendship! And part of that definition means learning to set boundaries. S...