Soulshine

“If these Christians want me to believe in their god, they’ll have to sing me better songs; they’ll have to look more like people who have been saved; they’ll have to wear on their countenance the joy of the beatitudes. I could only believe in a god who dances.” Friedrich Nietzsche In recovery it’s important to know a Higher Power, or God, who dances. We need a Higher Power who smiles when we rise in the morning, who understands when we’re frustrated, who offers empathy when we hurt inside, and who loves us no matter how bad our behavior has been throughout the day. And we need a Higher Power who will love us to sleep each night no matter how bad we may feel deep down inside about ourselves. In other words, we need a Higher Power who is ON OUR SIDE. Too many of us grew-up in households where God was a tyrant, a hanging judge; and some of us grew-up in households where there was no God at all. Either way, we never knew a God who danced with us. We never experienced an...

Struggling with knowing and trusting a Higher Power is problematic. The 12 Step program requires that we have a power greater than ourselves. For me, the God I grew-up with doesn’t work as a reliable Higher Power. First off, a Higher Power has to be on your side. The God I grew-up with was never on my side as far as I could discern. And not much has changed since that time. I have a slightly better concept of my Higher Power than I did several years ago, but it still isn’t one that brings me comfort or makes me feel loved and safe. So what do I want in a Higher Power? I want a Higher Love that makes me feel unconditionally loved, heard, validated, and cared about at all times. I want a Higher Love that comforts me and makes me feel valuable. I want a Love so great that I feel safe and warm always. We all need to be heard and validated by our Higher Power. We need to feel like everything we are experiencing and feeling is important to our Higher Power. We need to feel ...

“Friendship... is the comfort of feeling safe with a person.” Dinah Maria Craik , A Life for a Life What greater comfort can there be than feeling safe with another person? None-- aside from feeling comfortable with yourself. People often wonder how to discern if a friendship is healthy or toxic. Understanding how we feel around each person we call “friend” is a key indicator of a healthy or unhealthy relationship. Next time we’re around certain friends, let’s tune-in to how we feel... As we’re walking to the market, we run into Janet. We feel “on-guard“ as our gut tightens. We feel unsafe. As she’s talking, we quickly realize how subtly critical Janet is, and we’re afraid she may bite us with her words at any second. We feel uncomfortable until she heads on her way. The next day at work, we notice that when our “friend” Tim enters the conference room, we feel all of the positive energy rush out the door before it closes behind him. His brooding expressions zap us with emotional...