Soulshine

Do you give your power away to your “God”? Many people do. Many people still associate with a God or a Higher Power that goes back to their childhood. And often times, this “God” is a false “God” that was taught to them by well-intentioned people who held horrible theological beliefs. It’s also a “God” who has never really been on their side. My parents taught me about God in more ways than one. Sure I heard their verbal stories about God, but I also witnessed their own actions which further illustrated their beliefs about God to me. For example, my mother told me on various occasions “I may not always know what you’re doing, but GOD KNOWS.” In other words, God was a big invisible spy. The “God” I came to know as a child was 007 to the ump-degree, but he really wasn’t on my side. He was out to catch me—and get me—if I did something bad, or made a mistake. There were many times as a child when I also caught my mother spying on me. She was a control freak in that way. And b...

O God you are my God Have mercy on me for I am a miserable worm I am guilty of being alive, brought into this world by an act of sin And I am equally as guilty of breathing the air that is not mine for the taking Forgive me for being a wretched piece of shit for I was born this way I am guilty, I am guilty, I am guilty… And if you are really a God of Love you will wipe away all of this guilt and shame That I was taught as a child by people with good intentions Who were brainwashed by people with evil intentions People who wanted to control and manipulate others To gain personal power, prestige and wealth in Your Name. Amen. This first stanza above is how I have often felt based in my religious upbringing. It’s how I feel whenever I read certain Psalms. It represents how my parents saw themselves and how they viewed sexuality. I don’t blame them for it. They were not bad people. They were simply taught the wrong things by well-intentioned people who had ...