Soulshine

   Initially we approach boundaries as a means of reclaiming our own personal power; and as a means of protecting ourselves in relationships. This is where we have to begin in order to understand and to start building good personal boundaries.    But boundaries are also meant to be seen as bridges. They bridge the gap between us and others. In this way, boundaries exist not only to protect us but to protect others as well. Every relationship is a two-way street and boundaries must respect both individuals in every relationship.      This means that we must learn to respect other people’s boundaries at the same time that we are asking them to respect our boundaries. And for many of us, this is just as difficult of an assignment as learning to build our own boundaries. We are used to wanting to be in CONTROL. And our sometimes insatiable need to control others has taken us down the path of manipulation of others and thus a deep lack of respect for ...

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.” The Twelve Steps Life Learning Device As a person who grew-up never feeling good enough about myself, I learned to build many walls. Looking back I realize that I always wanted to build bridges. I’m a romantic at heart. It’s part of my nature. I want to love and be loved. But fear always got in my way: Fear of being hurt again and fear of abandonment. Even now, I can see how fear moves me to burn bridges with people that I am choosing to get closer to on a personal level. I have a friend who I love dearly right now and we have really great times together. When I’m in the moment everything is great, but when I have down time and get into my head I find myself keeping the Old Check List. The Old Check List is my way of destroying relationships or burning bridges between myself and others. The List consist of all the reasons why a particular person isn’t really good enough for me. As odd as it seems, t...