Soulshine

Living the lives of others is a very codependent trait. I was watching an old John Ford movie last night from 1933 called Pilgrimage . It was about a widow named Hannah living on a farm in Arkansas with her young adult son, Jimmy. World War I is raging across Europe and there’s a war raging inside of Hannah. Hannah doesn’t know how to live her own life. She isn’t willing to be responsible for herself and her own happiness even though she is actually a very strong person. She’s made Jimmy into her crutch and she’s living vicariously through him. This seems to work fine until Jimmy meets Mary and falls in love with her. Now Jimmy wants his life back and on his terms. He loves his mother and he has love enough in his heart for her and Mary. Jimmy wants to get married and Hannah is totally opposed. She isn’t willing to release her hostage. Hannah tries everything to keep herself enmeshed in Jimmy. She threatens him, spies on him, goes to Mary and threatens her—and all in th...

“Daddy said that I'm a good boy, ’cause I always did his will, but I can't remember. Was it me? How did I feel? I call 'em family, but in the heart of hearts I know there's something wrong with me, what can I do? Mother said that I'm a good girl, I was always dressed to kill, but I can't remember. Was it me? How did I feel?” And One, Sometimes Parenting is a sacred honor. And yet, very few people in this world are properly prepared to become parents. Certainly in the United States there is no certification, no degree, no nothing that’s required before a person can become a parent. I’m not aware of any other “job” that requires no preparation in the eyes of society. So it’s my guess that the vast majority of parents are totally under-prepared for the great responsibility that faces them when they have their first baby. This explains why—at least to some extent—that the average family is dysfunctional on some level. We are all the end result of our...