Who Do You Hate?

To love well, we first have to understand what it is that keeps us from loving well. The antithesis of love is hate. So examining ourselves to understand whom or what we hate is an important step toward learning to love well. Every child in our society is taught to be fearful of anyone that is different from them and to be leery of any customs or practices that are different from their family norm. More often than not this conditioning is taught to us in subtle ways.

For example, as children we hear adults around us criticize or demean people of other races, nationalities, religious practices, sexual orientations and political beliefs. These putdowns are often caged in humor or innuendo, but sometimes they are flagrant violations of God’s law to love your neighbor—no exceptions. Either way, children learn a deep-seated mistrust of those persons who are different from them and this mistrust is fueled by the fear that often erupts as hatred of those who are different and seen as evil in some unrealistic way.

No one is born a bigot. But we are all taught the language and the eventual hatred of those who are different from us, and thus falsely seen as somehow a threat to us. Unfortunately for us, our families, societies and religious institutions teach us to be bigots. Fortunately for us, we can actively go about erasing what we have learned from these fear-filled institutions. Once we understand our fears and have identified those persons, groups, etc. that we have been fearful of and taught to hate, we can make the conscious choice to learn more about them as a means of enlightening ourselves. The more we learn about them, the less we have to fear. The more we see the human condition as being uniquely universal despite our differences, the more we form a common human bond with all peoples. Our fears are alleviated, our compassion and empathy kick-in, and we can consciously challenge any old prejudiced thoughts and feelings that arise within us. The more we challenge them, the less power they have over us. And over time, hatred is supplanted by love.

No one is ever happy being hate-filled. Hatred eradicates our joy. It’s only possible to love well once we have eliminated all forms of hatred from our hearts, including any hatred we may have toward ourselves. Purge your heart of the weeds of hatred and watch the divine beauty of your Love garden grow!