"Ask" and You Shall Receive

“Today I will ask God for what I want and need.

I will not demand, I will ask. Then I will let go.”

Melody Beattie

In our culture we have come to confuse demands with asking. Many of us are afraid to ask for what we need or want. Asking requires us to be vulnerable. Demanding allows us to own some power, even if it is a cowardly form of power. So today, instead of saying to a spouse or a friend “Could I please have a cup of coffee?” we say “Give me a cup of coffee.” We may think the latter sentence is a means of “asking” but it’s not: It’s a command. And a command demands something from someone. It leaves no room for “No.”

Many of us have also come to confuse “asking” with “commanding” or “demanding” when we pray to God, or our Higher Power. We say “God bless my mother and father” or “God make me more understanding” or “God get me that job interview with the Acme Company.” On the surface these seem like normal requests, but they are actually commands. They tell God what to do. They don’t ask God for anything. They demand.

Asking in prayer sounds more like this: “God, would you please bless my mother and father?” or “God, would you please help me to be more understanding?” or “God, would you please help me to get an interview with the Acme Company?” This is truly asking and it leaves us more vulnerable as it reveals our powerlessness before God. We can ask, but we can’t make God do as we want. We have to accept that God knows best and that what we are asking for may not be best for us or for a loved one.

There is great wisdom in the quote from Melody Beattie above. Every day we can “ask” God for what we want and need. But we cannot demand or bargain with God. There is no tit for tat in prayer. There is nothing we can give to God or do for God to earn what we want or need. All that God provides for us is pure gift. So let’s refrain from telling God that we’ll never say another bad word about anyone or anything if we can only get what we want; or that we will never ask for anything else in our whole lives if we can just have this one thing happen. We can’t bargain with God and it’s best not to make promises we can’t keep.

It’s also best to “let go” once we have asked God for something. Letting go means that we don’t think about our request for the rest of the day and we don’t nag God by bringing it back up. We can always ask once again tomorrow, but we need to let go of our compulsion to control the situation—to make it happen in our time and our way. We need to surrender it to God completely and allow God to do His part.

Asking and letting go allows God freedom and allows life to happen. It also allows our souls to shine!