The Greatest Gift of 2013: Healthy Relationships

I’ve taken the last few days to look back over 2013, which was one of my least favorite years as it was unfolding. In hindsight, however, I see some important lessons learned from the very hardships I despised most.

First, back in March of 2013, I had my beautiful brand new car struck from behind on the Hollywood Freeway. I was devastated at the time because the car was so valuable to me. But I have since come to believe that no car or material thing can be as valuable as precious time spent with a loved one. Cars are easily repaired, and my car looks as new as ever now. But relationships aren’t so easily repaired. When we focus outside of ourselves, we need to focus on the people who are important to us much more so than the things we treasure.

Second, in August of 2013, I became dehydrated at an amusement park in Los Angeles, passed-out and landed hard on the ground. I earned 19 stitches in my head, a sprained back and a pocketful of anxiety attacks. It was not pleasant. Still I learned many things about taking better physical care of myself. And I learned that good health is a blessing, but, like material things, it is not my greatest blessing. Good relationships nursed me back to health better than medicines or any material things ever could.

So, looking back over 2013 I ask myself “What was your greatest blessing of the year?” And the answer is “My relationships.” In particular, my friendship with Richard, my rollercoaster buddy. The time we spend riding the coasters, laughing at each other, eating pizza and funnel cakes, watching live entertainment and sharing a spirit of true camaraderie between us is worth more than anything to me.

What are material things if we have no one to share them with? What is good health if we have no one to share it with? This is why recovery from codependency is so important to me and why I write so much about it. Codependency is a relationship disorder and it keeps us from loving ourselves, others and life to the fullest.

So as we enter 2014, let’s dance through it with the real treasure in life: People. Let’s work at loving ourselves so much that we are able to love others equally as well. And let’s build the type of friendships that place materials things and all other worldly goods into proper perspective for us. Life isn’t about having things. It’s about having loving, good, healthy relationships.

Amen, I say to you! Love your life enough to love others with all your hearts! Happy 2014!