Self-Acceptance is the Door into Authenticity, Self-Love and Personal Freedom
What
does it take to be happy with yourself? What does it take to love the person
God created you to be? TOTAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE.
Complete,
unconditional self-acceptance is the doorway into self-love. Self-acceptance
opens the flood-gates and it allows self-love to flow in and naturally fill-up
your inner-emptiness.
Self-acceptance
means we have to become aware of, dismantle and let go of all the judgments we
have made against ourselves over the years. It also means that we have to begin
living our lives authentically, which requires us to throw-out all of our “SHOULDS.”
Shoulds
and negative self-judgments go hand in hand and they cause of to feel shame and
guilt about our natural selves. They force us into living through idealized,
false selves that betray who we really are and make us feel even more
inadequate. “I should look like this” (You look just fine as you are!), “I
shouldn’t act like that” (People who really love you will see beyond your
behavior and love you anyway!), “I shouldn’t reveal this part of me to her
because she won’t like me if she finds out” (If she no longer likes you, she
wasn’t meant to be part of your life. Let go!), “I should be more athletic to
please my father” (You aren’t required to please your parents. Simply be true
to you!) … We can go on and on with shoulda, woulda, couldas, but it’s all
self-destructive. Shoulds and self-judgments are the doorway into
internal-hell.
Authenticity,
through total self-acceptance, is the key to lasting personal contentment. In
order to be truly genuine, authentic people we must first weed out all of the
self-judgments (or personal curses) we have placed on ourselves. We have to
become aware of them and we have to choose to believe they are false. Then we
have to work at letting go of them. Awareness gives us the ability to face
these judgments and to release ourselves from them.
The
more we release ourselves from the many false judgments we have layered onto
ourselves, the more we will come to accept ourselves just as we are. THERE IS
NOTHING WRONG WITH THE AUTHENTIC YOU. We are all created just as God intended
us to be—AND ALL IS GOOD ABOUT US!!!
I
have a favorite stage/screen actor. His name is Raul Castillo and he has taught
me so much about authenticity and self-acceptance. I’ve seen almost everything
he has done on film and I’m always moved by his performances because he comes
from such an authentic place inside himself. And he brings the many characters
he plays fully alive with that very powerful authenticity that is Raul
Castillo. He exudes sincerity, honesty, frankness, love and the power of simply
being true to himself (and his character) no matter what role he is playing. He
is as true to his role as he is to Raul. And he’s not afraid to take on any
role. In this way, he reminds me of Bette Davis. Like Davis, he isn’t threatened
by what anyone else may think. This requires total self-acceptance.
Those
of us who suffer with codependency and other addictive behaviors do so for one
reason: We don’t love ourselves. And we don’t love ourselves because we have
made so many judgments against ourselves. And these judgments keep us from
accepting and being true to the very person God intended us to be.
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